Sleepless

When nights are sleepless I realize its because there is something going on in my life that is causing me a great deal of distress. Here's how it happens. I lay down, close my eyes, and replay everything I could have said, should have said, or wish I was brave enough to say, over and over again. And then when I think I have contemplated every single scenario, I imagine it again, another way. I toss. I turn. I whimper. No, not whimper out loud. Never that. But my heart cries silently. Then, I feel tired. I think I'm ready to close my eyes and finally put it all to rest.

So, I take a deep breath as I lay down, close my eyes and then I replay everything I could have said, should have said, or wish I was brave enough to say, over and over again. I'm not ready yet, so I toss and I turn.

Eventually, it all fades. Sleep must happen. Or something close enough to it.

-SJR